HARRY versus FRODO
by Autumn C
Summary: Quite pointless - it was something I wrote a few years ago, and I lost it and found it again...pretty dumb but entertaining...read and review if you want!


HAHAHA.

Okay. Okay okay okay. I found this story buried in the other realm known as Under My Bed. When my best friend and I were in the eighth grade, our battles over what was better: Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings was a CONSTANT occurance. I said Harry Potter, she said LotR.

So, I was bored one day in class and decided to write a story about what could possibly happen if Harry and Frodo Baggins met. Don't get me wrong - I actually _like _Lord of the Rings now. Aragorn... )

Like I said, it was 8th grade so the writing is not great. Heck, it starts out with "One day..." ....so if you're expecting any masterpieces, you'll be disappointed here.  
Oh and I also didn't split it up into chapters like the normal way just 'cos...well I was too lazy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Harry Potter vs. Frodo Baggins**

**Chapter 1: The Scar**

One day, Harry Potter was sitting on the couch in the Dursleys' house. His Uncle Vernon was at work, his Aunt Petunia was busy in the kitchen making dinner, and cousin Dudley was sitting on his fat butt on the couch next to Harry watching Wrestlemania. In his chubby hand was a bag of Cheetos; the brainless git was dropping orange crumbs all over his baggy shirt. Harry glanced at his cousin, looking disgusted. Dudley's eyes were glued to the tube, so he didn't notice.

It was the last week Harry would be spending with the Dursleys until he went off to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Good riddance.

Dudley moaned as the wrestler he was rooting for got body-slammed by the other wrestler. Harry found this very boring. Not saying a word to Dudley, the famous fifteen-year old got up and walked out the back door into the backyard. He sat on the bench as he thought about going back to school and seeing his best friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger again.

He was sitting there for about five minutes when suddenly his scar exploded with pain. It felt as if it was tearing his head apart. He dropped off the bench, holding his head in agony. It seemed like ages until the pain finally stopped. Harry couldn't see straight, he was so dizzy and shocked. What had happened? Why did his scar suddenly explode with pain like that? He didn't see a visitor right in front of him.

**

* * *

Chapter 2: The Visitor**

"Well, hello Harry Potter. How are we today?"

Harry, who was still on the ground nearly unconscious, saw a young man with a button up shirt and baggy capris-like pants. "Who are you?" he said, wondering how the stranger got there so quickly.

"Frodo Baggins," the stranger replied with a malicious glint in his eyes. "I was sent here by my master, Lord Voldemort. I've come to kill you."

Frodo Baggins. For some reason, that name rang a bell in Harry's mind. Then he knew. "You're that convict that escaped from Azkaban! You were trying to steal a ring for that old guy!" **(A/N: At that point of time in my life, I wasn't familiar with the Lord of the Rings story, so I know that's not really right. Don't sue me.)**

"Actually, I was trying to get it for Voldemort so he could take over the world and kill you! Gwahaha."

Harry didn't see how he could be such an "evil" criminal and be so stupid at the same time. He just stared at Frodo with raised eyebrows. Frodo seemed to realize he was getting off the subject. **(A/N: And now that I read back, he actually wasn't really...) **He cleared his throat and glared at Harry. "So Potter, are you ready to die?"

Harry thought, _It's official. He really is a stupid git. _"Well, I was hoping I was last another 85 years, but I guess you're definitely going to do me in, huh?"

Frodo nodded, stupidly obsessed with himself.

"Well," said Harry, "before you kill me, let me show you something." He reached into his pocket and took out his wand. Frodo looked puzzled.

"Uh, it's just a stick. What are you going to do, shove it up my - "

Harry burst out laughing. "Just a stick? Mr. Baggins, do you know what this 'stick' can do?"

Frodo shook his head. Harry grinned wickedly. He knew he now had the advantage. "Well, let's just say, with one word and a point from this wand, I can take away a life right here and right now."

Frodo's confidence seemed to flicker. "Well, I have, uh, I've got a - er - "

Harry laughed again. "That's what I thought."

Frodo looked angry. He should never be defeated! If he was giong to let this fifteen year old wizard defeat him, he would go down in shame as: "FRODO BAGGINS: The One Who Lost To Harry Potter." Frodo wasn't going to let that happen. "I bet you can't do anything without a wand!" he snapped.

Harry's eyes narrowed. "Ha! You're afraid I'm going to defeat you."

"That's ridiculous!" Frodo exclaimed, and Harry rolled his eyes. How could Voldemort become so stupid? He sent this brainless idiot to kill him? Man, Voldemort was losing his touch.

* * *

**Chapter Three: The Bet**

"I'll make a bet with you," said Harry.

"Yeah?" Frodo said. "What kind of bet?" Harry thought for a few seconds and then said, "I bet I can defeat you with one spell. And it's not the killing spell. You wont feel any pain, I promise. You will feel just the opposite, actually."

Frodo looked uncertain at first, but then grinned maliciously at Harry. There was no way a fifteen-year old weakling like this one could defeat him, not even if it _was _Harry Potter.

"Okay," said Frodo. "If I win, I get to take you to Voldemort."

Harry nodded. "And if I win, you go back to where you came from and never bother me again."

"So if I can kill you while you have this spell on me - "

" - then I will go with you to Voldemort," Harry finished for him, not believing how STUPID this Frodo was: if Frodo were to kill him there, why on earth would he, Harry, care to be taken to Voldemort afterwards? He wouldn't care at all. Because he wouldn't be able to. Because he'd be DEAD.

Frodo looked excited. What spell could this wizard possibly think of that made "the opposite of pain?" And how would _that _defeat him?

* * *

**Chapter Four: The Curse**

Harry knew exactly what curse he was going to use. He had it all planned out. "You ready?" he asked his enemy. Frodo nodded. "Yes, I am ready for anything!"

"All right then." Harry raised his wand and pointed it at Frodo. "_Imperio!_"

Frodo was hit by the Imperius Curse. When hit by this curse, the person who performed it is in total control of the one it was used on. Harry smiled as he saw an uplifting look on Frodo's face appear. Frodo was totally oblivious to the world; everything was now a game to him, a wonderful game. He was the game piece. Harry was the player.

Frodo didn't need to worry at all except a for a voice off in the far distance...."_Punch yourself in the face.....punch yourself in the face....punch yourself - _

" - in the face," Harry finished. Frodo took his right fist and whalloped himself on the cheek, spinning himself around and to the ground. Harry grinned.

_"Get up and spin around ten times."_

Frodo did as he was told.

_"Act like a monkey." _

Frodo started prancing around, scratching his head and saying "Eee oho ahh ahah!" Harry was cracking up.

Finally, Harry decided to get down to business. He said to Frodo, "LEAVE THIS HOUSE AND NEVER BOTHER ME AGAIN!"

**(A/N: I don't see why I didn't make Harry just finish him off. Stupid me.)**

Frodo absentmindedly walked through the gate and down the driveway. Harry watched him walk down Privet Drive until he was out of sight. Harry then walked inside and sat next to Dudley who was still watching wrestling. His cousin scooched away from Harry. "Where did you go?" Dudley asked. "What did you do?"

Harry smiled mysteriously.

"I didn't do anything."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ha so that was that, and then I showed it to my best friend/foe who came up with her OWN way of how things happened in the story...she wrote it in a different format, like a play script or something....also she included a little letter before her story as well:

_Hey._

_Ok, so how LAME can you get??? "Hi my name is Frodo Baggins and I'm here to kill you..."  
NO, you got it all wrong!! (But it would be a good beginning to Rowling's new book if you changed Frodo's name!) Accept that as a compliment of some sort.....BUT there are things you definitely HAVE to fix: _

(Now remember, this is my friend's version)

_(Intro) until Frodo appears:_

_Harry: Hello, who are you? _

_Frodo: I'm Frodo Baggins from the Shire, and you are? _

_Harry: Where ya goin? _

_Frodo: Important business._

_Harry: Can I come? _

_Frodo: I'm sorry, it would be too much for a measly wizard such as yourself. _

_Harry: MEASLY?!_

_Frodo: You heard me. Now if you'd excuse me, I must be on my way._

_Harry: wont let Frodo pass If you say I'm measly, then you are STUPID!_

_Frodo says nothing but he has a smirk on his face. _

_Frodo: "But I told you, I must be going, so BYE measly wizard! vanishes_

_Harry: Wha!? Where'd you go!? Stupid, stuipd??!_

_And with that, Harry went flying. He fell on the ground with an "OFH" **(a/n: her words, not mine...) **and quickly got up. Something kicked him, but who? He draws his wand. The invisible fury attacks again, snapping his wand in two. Harry cried out in agony. His only weapon was gone. Suddenly Frodo was beside him again. _

_Frodo: Stupid, huh? Hahahaha! Well, you definitely are measly, no question about it!_

_And with that, Frodo was on his way out of the Dursleys white picket fence, whistling one of his hobbit tunes. _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

For all you who didn't understand the disappearing part....'twas Frodo puttin' on that ring o' his.

I must admit, hers was a lot funnier, probably because of the format. But the changing tenses made me dizzy.

Ah, well that's that. Today me and her remain best friends and have come to accept one another's preferences. Erm...sorta.

Review if you want!!!


End file.
